The Growing World

As a rising senior, I feel like a jammed drawer that is overflowing with papers. You do not know which papers are useful, but you know some are and so you can not throw them all away. There are so many things that have to be planned out before finishing high school. One you have to decide what your next step in life is, it could be work, additional education, or a different experience like community service. Even after picking out what you want to do, you can be only so sure about your choice, and have to then make five more choices just for your first choice.

I think I want to pursue college after high school. With this initial goal, I have to then make choices of where I apply, which I have to base on my choice of what I am looking for in a school. What I am looking for could be an environment, what programs the school offers, or many other things like the cost of the school. For every choice I make here another two pop up. How will I apply, early action, early decision, regular decision, what scholarships if any should I strive for, both in and out of the Lincoln-Sudbury arena. To put it lightly, there are a billion decisions that must be made, and it feels as though the train of choices will never end. What's the worse part is how unsure each final judgment can feel. What we know can end up being so wrong, even if we have dreamed about doing something for all of our life. Without trying it is impossible to know what you truly want, and that makes it all the more overwhelming. I have not gotten far on my college application process. Thankfully, I do know I want to and have the resources to go to college. Even this first step is nice to have. Despite this win, I have been having a really hard time writing all the essays needed for applications, having almost nothing completed there. I have not even looked fully at the common application almost being petrified from jumping into it. I feel confused at points, and am hoping I can motivate myself to spend one day truly going over all of the application processes. This process is overwhelming, but I need to believe that I can do it, and I need to spend the time to do it. Jumping through that first hurdle of just looking and truly figuring out the common application is my next step. This self-motivation above is what I think can help the majority for the process. The process needs to be taken in steps, not just all at once. Figuring out each individual thing you can do, and slowly working it down seems important for maintaining a healthy balance in each of our lives. By breaking it down it can seem smaller, and real progress can be made instead of self-stagnation. The choices are in the millions, and the process feels endless. Yet it is my choice to do, and I know I want to and so must put in the work. Right now I am trying to formulate a plan with my writing, and hope this vent can help me figure out the right thing to do.