Music Without Touch 1/1.5

Music is one of humanities greatest accomplishments. It brings people of incredibly diverse backgrounds together in ritual. Music is the universal language that all humans can understand. This brings me to my greatest regret in life. Its not something I've done or had done to me, no instead its music's affect on me. I don't get touched by the music or enjoy listening to it. Its not that I don't know what emotions the music is supposed to extrude, its just that I don't feel those emotions when listening. My inability to feel what the music is supposed to be protruding out of me has caused me throughout my whole life to rarely ever listen to music. I never do when I am alone, with my only interactions with it, when I'm in a car listening to a radio, or I'm hearing it due to other people. I have done research on why some people don't like to listen to music, and while my self diagnosis could easily be completely wrong, I think my uninterested in music is due specific musical anhedonia. Even if my diagnosis is completely wrong I still don't feel the powerful effects that so many others do when listening to music. In a way I feel separated from so much of society because of my inability to want to listen to music. If I had one small wish it would be to be able to feel music in the way I think so many other people do. The even scarier part is if I don't have any conditions that impede my enjoyment of music, because in that case my romantic picture I have built up of music in my head is non existent. Truly it makes my eyes water just writing this because I want to enjoy it so badly, and yet I just can't. In elementary school I memorized one song Viva La Vida by Cold Play, just so that whenever a teacher would hand out a questionnaire asking for your favorite song I'd have something to write. I feel as though music will forever be a blank canvas that I want to fill, but just can't. Please have a musical day for me.