Recent Occurences

I used to throw tantrums as my parents put me to bed. I would ask for five more minutes to stay down with my brothers, and when that ran out another five minutes. As I grew up my bedtime became my choice and so I would throughout middle and high school go to bed earliest at eleven and latest at two or three in the morning. Consequently, my choice in the last two days to fall asleep around nine seems like a dented puzzle piece in the picture of my life.

First, this choice is very recent so maybe it will stick or maybe old habits will form again. If I had to guess, I would say that I will stick to my late night schedule on weekends or vacations but on these remaining school days, I will go to bed earlier some, not a huge percentage, but not negligible, amount of time. My whole awakening to this early bedtime stems from me choosing to go to bed sooner than normal a couple of days ago because I figured I could wake up early in the morning and finish my homework.

As the night ticks on I become less and less efficient, productive, and knowledgeable in what I try and do, be it making a Dungeons & Dragons campaign or completing homework. A special danger of this late night work is how I think in terms of time. Once its twelve at night watching a Netflix show for an hour seems okay because I will still finish my homework at two in the morning and get five hours of sleep. The problem though, other then the obvious lack of sleep even if I get the full five hours, is I finish the show, and it still takes me a while to get started on my homework. Before I know it I'm turning off the lights at 2:40 in the morning instead of the premeditated 2:00. So I tried something else.

Natural wake ups in the morning are wonderful. I woke up at 3:58 this morning, and then dozed for a little while, before finally sitting up. My body got what it needed. My mind felt like a cool morning breeze, with a sharp twinge to it. These last couple of mornings have felt wonderful. It is just me, my room, and the silence of the night. A safe, warm, but interesting moment. I have plenty of time and use that time much more efficiently than I ever did as the clock ticked midnight. One of the side effects of getting up early is morning activities like getting to school I can plan for and feel good to go to them.

My favorite part about being up late at night is that it is just me. I am alone with my thoughts only having myself, no texts, no contacts with the outside world, no one knowing what I am doing. I like this peace. Before I move forward I need to state that just because I enjoy this peace does not mean I dislike contact with friends or family, texting, talking, hanging out, or any other social object. This peace is not something I would want for long, just enough to refresh myself, because I would miss so much all of the above. Peace and sociality, I like them both a lot. But getting back to the point, the night and early morning each have this serenity. They are different experiences, but the fact each includes this shield from everything else is what draws me to them. Whether I start writing my piece in the future about how much I stuck with this new morning routine at 4:00 AM because I just woke up or finish it at 4:00 AM and am about to go to bed, I will be looking for this intangible and loving void that only the moonlit hours bring.