One Dream, Many Cracks, Perfection

Birthdays, their Magic, and their Blessing of One

This birthday post is dedicated to my silly, pretty, and sweet girlfriend Mollie. Thank you, Mollie, for being in my life.

A vanilla frosted cake with burning candles. Neatly wrapped cube presents with bright colored paper all lie on a table. A host of family and friends surround one special person. This is my imaginative Jane Doe birthday scenario.

The truth is everyone's birthday wish is different. While there may be some common factors between the statement above and one person's dream birthday, in most scenarios the wants of a person shine through in their celebration. I love playing board games and would just adore a birthday where I got to play one long game that is normally hard to get the people or the time to play. Another person may want to snuggle up next to their best friend in the world with a hot chocolate to their right, and their favorite novel in front of them.

Everyone has a unique picture for their birthday, but the responsibility for painting this image lies not in the beholder but their loved ones. Family and friends are meant to hear what the birthday joy says and they try to reenact the dream laid in front of them the best they can. The final product ends up being much better than another human trying to itch that spot on your back but it has a lot more cracks than if you created the day yourself. And yet, despite this imperfectness, a birthday has so much less stress than other imperfect holidays. The magic of a birthday is the lack of conflict while the warm presence of love remains.

A birthday is about one person. On Thanksgiving, the cook needs the turkey to be out at four, but the avid football fan must watch the game at three forty-five. Both people have this perfect idea of their holiday and these ideas clash. Each one knows that what they are doing is important and believes that if everyone follows their plan the day will be perfect. The loved ones act out of kindness and a want to have an awesome day with family and friends, but their desires will inevitably clash. The clock ticks four and the cook has decided dinner is now, but the lover of football cannot let the game be unwatched. A conflict occurs. Cracks form in their perfect plans. Solutions lay in front of them, the football fan could record the game, or the family could eat dinner while watching the game. If a comprise is reached nothing is lost, both people will get everything they wanted out of the day. Compromises are hard, and to get to one, often annoyance and anger form, little snips at each other. Each party feels there is a clear antagonist to their perfect vision. Cracks do not destroy, frustration, antagonism, those often do.

A birthday can crack just as easily as any other day. But a birthday is about one person, no one else's dream. And so the day continues, with fun and love, even as cracks, and cracks from. A little different than what the birthday loved one initially thought the day would, but it ends up still being perfect because no is wronged. When a problem occurs, a solution is found, there is no maddening party. Only one person matters. Birthdays are nice, because we forget what is lost, and remember what we have.