A Fireside Chat (Stories from D&D game with friends)

In the land of Catalmir, within the Venetian domain, in a small village, a band of adventurers formed. There was Blyrin the Gnome, the wisest of the group, a true healer. Or so she let on. Then the great Donaldi. She was the best, better than everyone before her, the smartest, fastest, in her mind wisest, Donaldi was her own idol. While she had a slight drinking problem that precluded her from her half-elf kind, she always had enough self-worth and shall we call it bravery to make it through the day. The lankiest of them all though was Arrakir. This red skinned tiefling could exude his body into every pose or shape. Only one thing scared this brave man: water. If he fell into even a small puddle of water, he would most certainly drown. Contrasting this aquaphobia was the monk from the south, the sailor, Lidtrix was her name. This mild-mannered monk easily made friends, even if she hid when the danger came. Lastly, Ori Alda, a local from the area, courageous and cheerful, joined the group. Ori had connections to her home, and so when the pirates came, she felt it the most. And so our story begins. Before any of our heroes met, there they stood, individuals. Now come sit with me, close to the fire, and listen to this bands origin.

The Story of Blyrin and Donaldi plus Glassie the Barkeep

-(Glassie) What can I do for you lassie?

-(Blyrin) Do you have any vodka?

-(Glassie) What's that you say? Nein, I've never heard of that potion. We have beer.

-(Blyrin) I'll take that.

-(Glassie) Cost you a copper miss. And you, --a bumbling fool lays on the counter--, where's this months rent.

-(Donaldi) hehyy, just giv mi day, i bast, luv

-(Glassie) You gotta leave. How long has it been since you've paid rent? Let alone this tab of yours.

-(Donaldi) kant I stuf here jut giv mi da, Yahhhhh!

-(Glassie) Did you just try and stab me? What the fuck, you hit the counter, how drunk are you? I'm keeping this dagger now, and you are going to leave today.

Arrakir’s Unfortunate Positioning

-(Arrakir) Hello all, is this a place for a mighty fine day?

-(Glassie) What do you want sir?

-(Arrakir) I'll have your best vodka

-(Glassie) Fuck no, no more weird ass drinks. Beer for two coppers.

-(Arrakir) What about a wine, maybe a single copper?

-(Glassie) I've got beer, you and your fancy pants taste is gonna me give two copper if you want a drink.

-(Blyrin) WHAT are you doing? Get your hand out of my pants freak!

-(Arrakir) My bad miss, I meant to enter my pocket, let me just find my two coppers. Ahh here they are, once again, I am sorry, my hand just slipped.

-(Blyrin) Just no, you tried to do something, I don't even know what you were trying? Pickpocket meet in plain sight, are you as intelligent as you’re lanky.

-(Glassie) Here you are sir, just give me the coppers, and please keep your hands in your own stockings next time.

Arrakir Try Two, with the Russian Brothers, and a Donaldi Rescue

-(Arrakir) --Leaves the counter towards a table--

-(Arrakir) How is it going friends?

-(Dranco Barg) You my friend, you will do well. Would you like to play a game?

-(Arrakir) Oh, I'm all right.

(Dranco Barg) Hahah, you weakling, no skill, aww you scared to fight my brother. Look at him.

-(Arrakir) It's all right, I don't feel like playing/

-(Bartholomew Barg) Thank god, aww, I just, I don't want to play anymore please, I mean aww gosh.

-(Dranco Barg) You are the wimpiest person. Look at my sad sack of a brother and even you won't fight him. And also, you "missing" your own pocket when you bought your drink, makes you either the worst thief, biggest creep, or a plain idiot. So please, play my game, money is involved. All you need to do is arm wrestle Bartholomew.

-(Arrakir) Ahh, I cannot do that, here let me get someone else. What about them there -points towards Donadlie-?

-(Dranco Barg)- You truly are the weakest person I have ever met. Look at you, you seem to be a combination of a slug and a giraffe's neck. But bring her over, she is someone I like.

-(Arrakir) Do you want to a copper?

-(Donaldi) Susre, what du I needz?

-(Arrakir) Come with me, and play his -Dranco's- game.

-Arrakir and Donaldi walk to the two brother’s table-

-(Dranco Barg) Hello Donaldi, want to play? I'll give you a copper if you win.

-(Donaldi) Yes, me pla, huw mi win?

-(Dranco Barg) Put your hand down, Psh, Psh, Psh, Psh, Psh, Psh

-(Glassie) Dranco, you better stop stop stabbing my table.

-(Dranco Barg) Good job Donaldi, no wounds today, I love you. So now “stroooong” man, it's your turn to play.

-(Arrakir) Hey there, let us just wait a second, and you are a bumbling fool yourself.

-(Dranco) Yes, I am the fool and you’re the smartest, the best oh yes, now why don’t you just walk over to me.

-(Donadlie) I bezt over all, me better, yu needz me.

Ori and the Market

-(Ori) What do you have for sale today Matt?

-(Matt) Why I have many things, look around, swords, books, clothes.

-(Ori) Anything magical?

-(Matt) You've caught me, I have recently acquired a spectacular piece. This potion allows a user to fly.

-(Ori) That green flask? How much is it?

-(Matt) Yes this liquid, it is quite valuable. Fifty gold pieces for it alone.

-(Ori) Hmm, yea, I'm sure your green juice is amazing and all but I will look else where.

-(Matt) Hold on, hold on! Here for you, thirty gold pieces.

-(Ori) I'm okay...

-(Matt) No, no! Here twelve, best deal ever for a flying potion.

-(Ori) Bye! I'm going to go talk with my friend

-(Ori) Hi Kent! How is it going?

-(Kent) Ori! I love it ahh, here want an apple, let me see, one no two, ahh I can't figure this out wait sorry. Sorry here I think I'm supposed to sell them for two silver.

-(Ori) You sure Kev? Maybe copper? Silver is a lot of money for an apple.

-(Kent) You are right! Two copper for an apple. Here, want one?

-(Ori) Sure, here's a couple coppers.

-(Kent) Thanks! And here is a free one on the house. Bye Ori.

Lidtrix does a blind folded three-sixty into Town

-(Schnell) Hello there! Are you coming to the dock?

-(Lidtrix) Why yes I am!

-(Schnell) All righty, just tie up right here.

-(Lidtrix) Thank you!

-(Lidtrix) And how may I get into town?

-(Schnell) Just follow the path, it will lead you to the market.

-(Lidtrix) Hi there, I am Lidtrix.

-(Ori) Hi, my name is Ori.

-(Ori) Where are you coming from?

-(Lidtrix) Just down river, quite a bit down, but I'm excited to be here.

-(Ori) Here, I have an extra apple you want it?

-(Lidtrix) Sure, hey, and here's the keys to the ride of your life. Just down this path a bit is my boat, a beauty for sure.

-(Ori) Hey, what is that, why is there smoke in the distance?

-(Lidtrix) I don’t know, hmmm.

-(Ori) Here, I am going to go check it out.

-(Lidtrix) Eeee, all right I’ll come too, let's be careful though I do not enjoy the, wait my boat, smoke…

-(Schnell) PIRATES!!! They are here, run for your life, runnnnnn

And so ends the first tale but fright not, for more is to come, and friends may even be made. For these are the bravest, strongest, mightiest people in the whole wide, square mile vicinity, scratch that, I forgot the pirates. So come back next time, for another fireside chat, where you can learn more about the second strongest, second bravest, and probably fourth smartest adventurers, in maybe the town, and let us also not forget Donaldi.